I was as happy last night as when I found out I made the top 24. This whole time I’ve had a blast and I was trying, but it’s really been hard. Before I found out the results I was really starting to fear the week ahead. How was I going to do three songs when I can’t even do two? I was freaking out about it. That was all building up so I was ready to go either way. I just really felt relieved, the pressure was off. I loved my time on there and I would have liked to go farther, but I don’t think I could handle it.
Yesterday I wanted to win, and the day before too. What it came down to was just my inexperience. Once we doubled up on songs I wasn’t able to focus and my mind was split and I couldn’t deliver either or, and that’s what it came down to.
I definitely did not forget the words on purpose. I can’t believe I forgot such a popular line. It’s like something written on your soul and it slipped my mind. When I got up on stage that day it was really rushed. I had barely sat in my seat and they told me to go. My mind was in a blur and I got to that part and I forgot where in the chorus I was, so I didn’t know which ending I was supposed to be doing.
Were You Really Asking People Not To Vote?
I was saying vote! Then I said it again to emphasize that but nobody heard me. I remember sitting down and thinking about how they kind of have the same syllables and it’s going to look like ‘don’t vote’. Dangit. I consciously only said vote once during the numbers the second time around.
I think everyone this week kind of had the idea that I was ready to go, and that wasn’t my mindset at all going in. That kind of came across wrong, and the way I was on the show I guess people were kind of thinking I didn’t want to be there.
I really didn’t know what was going to happen. I felt like I was the one who deserved to go, I felt like I had the weakest performances that night. At the same time I know I had some very loyal fans so I was really unsure either way.
I made it farther then I had ever imagined. I didn’t really consider it a real possibility that I could win until these last few weeks. I did kind of wander in and see where it would go. It started going and I thought, ‘Alright, I’m here. Might as well be in it to win it.’
Snobby Simon
Simon can say whatever he wants, I was confident with what I was doing, I had nothing to be ashamed of. If he didn’t like it, fine. If it wasn’t what we needed for the competition, OK. It’s just another day and it’s just another song, and people see past that and so do I. I’ve done everything the best that I can considering the circumstances.
I’ve learned that I can do a lot more than I thought. Before I did this I wasn’t really confident as a performer and I hadn’t done it a lot. Now I’ve done it for months, and on TV! Wherever music leads me, I just want to play it somewhere.
*****
Check out all the Orato.com special series:
Hell’s Kitchen Chopping Block [1]
Song Over For American Idols [2]
People In Peril [4]
