Producing my new CD has been a two-year long process…an amazing process. There’s been a lot of pressure and emotional ups and downs of course, but I’ve learned so much. It’s good to know that you can learn everyday, no matter how much you think you know.
We’re totally finished with the CD; it’s been mastered in New York. The video's been shot. All that’s left now is the CD booklet artwork, which I’m working on now, since I am responsible for that task. I wanted to make the artwork a creative, sharing experience. It’s like a scrapbook; I kept a diary during the process, and the CD artwork is a way of sharing some of the things that happened.
I’m Not That Girl
I have totally left Rock Star Supernova behind. The only reason it’s still in my life is because of people who remind me all the time. Of course I can’t blame them, since that’s how people relate to me, but as an artist, it’s just so far away from me. It seems like a century ago.
When people listen to my record, I think they’ll definitely hear and recognize that it’s so not the girl that was on a reality show; it’s a real artist. In fact, I’ve been a real artist a long time, but a lot of people are very television-oriented, so that’s all they remember. That’s fine; I just have to educate people, but thankfully not for much longer.
Dropping The Bombshell
I am so nervous about how my album will be received. I have this fear of completion. I still feel it’s incomplete. Every time I listen to it, there’s one little teeny-weeny thing, and I want to re-do it. I’ve talked to my producer, my manager and various other artists about that, and apparently it’s very normal to always want to keep fixing.
I just want people to listen to the record and the lyrics and understand that every single word came from within. I want people to feel they can relate to the songs, that it brings out some memory or emotion for them. I just want people to love it.
Dilana Disconnected
I’ve literally overworked myself to the point I thought I was going to lose my mind. I reached out to my label in London, and they actually sent me to Palm Springs for a weekend so I could decompress.
I still feel a little disconnected from myself. On a personal level I quit a few things, and so it’s affected my mood a little. I love a nice glass of red wine, I love cheese, and I love chocolate. I’ve cut down a lot the past month, so I’m a little edgy. (laughs) I’m feeling pretty stressed, but at the same time happy. My record coming out is my inspiration and motivation to get up every day.
There’s not much separating the music from the rest of me, but I’ve started exploring “Shejays,” which are female deejays. I’ve been taking my original music, putting it into a dance form, and pairing up with other shejays or deejays. I want to get into that a little more once my record’s out because I think dance music is huge, especially in the UK and Europe, where I’m going to be releasing my record first.
I love being on stage where I can connect with people and make eye contact when I’m doing my rock, but when I’m doing the deejay thing, I get to be a little more in the background, and I don’t have to connect on such a personal level with the audience. It’s an outlet to be creative, but not to focus on the crowd as much.
Of course in the future I’d love to travel more and not do music at all. I’d love to hang out with different tribes and cultures and get inspiration for music. For now though, the work is just beginning – touring, getting up in the morning for radio and TV stuff, rehearsing, promotion and lots of executive decisions that are so far from the music. I still love it all though.
Drawing Lines
I love connecting with my fans. Most of them are really awesome people. However, the past few months I have decided to draw the line a little more. I don’t blog as personally anymore, for a couple reasons. It was beginning to feel a bit too close. People started sending me private messages that were so ridiculous. I’ve had some crazy fans that got mad because I didn’t reply to them quick enough or not at all, calling me "too big for my britches," et cetera.
I just thought, ‘What the f*ck? I’m not going to put up with this sh*t.’ I’m not going to let people think they own me, and that’s the feeling I get…people think they own me sometimes.
After drawing the line, it’s working a lot better for me. Of course I totally still want to connect with my fans, but I do it through my music. I give so much of myself already in my music.
The New Dilana
I’ve become a lot more serious and focused. I realized that this is a lot bigger than I’ve ever done it before, and it’s not a joke. I’m getting ready for my tour, which starts in August.
I’m so set on working out, eating healthy, quitting smoking, cutting down on red wine, going to bed earlier…all because I know I have to be 110 per cent.
In the past, I’d drink all night, go to bed at 8 o’clock in the morning, smoke and not give a sh*t...I’ve matured.
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This month I’m going to London, taking my drummer with me from LA. Our first big show in London is August 7, 2008 for the Bulldog Bash [1], and I will be the second headliner. If anyone wants to come up to London, that would be awesome.
